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to, my dearest simple man

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           Letting you go came with the realization that there was so much to gain by allowing you to leave. sometimes the blessing isn’t found in what we have, sometimes it’s everything we lose. because God knows how much we tried to hold on, how much we prayed and begged for the people we love to stay only for them to leave in the most heartbreaking way. Maybe losing you wasn’t a loss because in your absence I found myself. you made me feel like i was trying too hard to be loved. You made me believe that i was just meant to be loved only when it was convenient for you and now, I finally know how healthy love feelings like. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do for yourself is let that person go.  Because the more you hold on to them, the more they will believe that it’s okay to hurt you because they know you’ll always welcome them back with open arms once they anything to please your tired heart. Because loving you was harder than watching you ...
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A letter to the guy from the Blue App

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  Honestly , I'm not ready to definitely write it here but I have to..          | tw: self-harm, suicidal ideation It was a tragically gloomy night on the 18th of October last year.  I am facing various internal problems in my life.  I remember that time I sat in the corner of the room, crying, screaming, with a knife in my hand. Occasionally, I scratch my hands with the knife. While sobbing, I don't know what I was thinking that night other than wanting to end my poor life. Then I went and took my cellphone which was on my desk. I opened the 'blue app', it was a platform that people used to pour out their hearts on.   'tweet' that's what it's called. At that time with very mixed circumstances, I wrote something on that platform.  "What if I die, and all the answers are here." it was late at night, I was still staring at my phone screen while replying to some messages from my friends .  however, still I was crying.  but I don'...
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Does Love even exist?

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    They say, one day someone will walk into your life and you'll realize why it never worked out with someone else.  but what if it’s all wrong? Lately, I've been thinking about something I've never thought about it before. About how people could easily find someone and then they call it a "lover" but they specifically still don't understand the existence or the meaning of love itself. I began to understand that most humans, still cannot appreciate the love that they actually have. Many of them already have a relationship with their partner but also choose to cheat or look for something in others. What I actually asked is how could people claim themselves as a partner or a lover but they’re also betraying one another. Or is it just a normal thing for them to do so that one day if they’ll break up then they already know where to go? because they know the consequences? is ironic isn't it? It all makes me sick even more. I think that I still couldn't get...
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